From talking to friends, I know it's not the end of the world, as alot of horses out there are "bleeders". Janet Kerr told me her vet won't even fail a horse on a vet check when it's a bleeder, as he feels it's not that big of a deal. Those words really helped me alot. I certainly tried to do everything possible to help her to not be a "bleeder", but, is what it is-and I can't let it get me down.
So, for 10 days she needs on anti-biotics, therefore bringing me right up to the rodeo with Gabby in Huntingdon PA. I really don't think I should be running her that first run out at a rodeo, where there will be a lot of things she needs to acclimate to with the rodeo atmoshere. Perhaps, I'm being a worried "mom", and it's no big deal to do so-just give her lasiks and run. But, for me, that first run out after, like it was at Venango, I have that worry shadowing me. I'm certainly not at my focused best-as more so in the back of my mind, I'm thinking "please don't bleed, please don't bleed"-as I'm worried for her.
I think once I know she won't bleed on lasiks, and I can still run her, and everything will be fine, I'll get over the worry. But at the moment, I don't know what the outcome will be. Will I lose her for running barrels? Is she going to be a trail horse only? If so, should I breed her? Does the world really need another "crazy train" on earth? She has been awesome to me all these years, even though she left a little to be desired in the attitude area outside of the pen. She has an amazing heart though when it comes to running, and I have no doubt she gives me 100% every time out-regardless of how she is feeling that day. She is a turning machine!
So the big question in my mind, before Wednesday of this week, is do I enter the rodeo for the weekend of June 15 or 16th when I had planned on taking Gabby and her family. I wanted Gabby to feel special, with a rider in the grand entry waving at her. To have a participant come back and sit with her, etc. Do I swallow my pride, and take Smoke, a horse that I'm not really sure even how to run quite yet? He's certainly not bad behaved, we just aren't such a great team as Sis and I usually are in the pen. I need some time on his back, and I need some runs on him. So far, I've only made 5 runs since owning him. I know from what my hubby and friends tell me, it will be good experience for both Smoke and I. But, I've waited this long to get my IPRA card, as I waited for that horse to come along that I felt was worthy of being in the rodeo pen-so I didn't embarrass myself trying to run with the Pros. So to have waited so long, to finally have gotten that horse, her not able to compete, to I swallow my pride and not go in that arena to win? To go in perhaps looking like a fool just trying to run with the "big dogs"? Or just forget all that b.s., and go in that arena to make a little girl's night at the rodeo a little bit more special?
Since starting to barrel race at the age of 12, that was my dream, my goal. Rodeos! To be a participant. To have the crowd cheering me on as I tried to shut that clock off in record time! Somehow, with starting Dreaming of Three, and the "Rodeo Kids" program, it's changing me. Meeting the families that I have met so far, hearing their story, being in the presence of such strong, courageous kids-and enjoying a night at the rodeo just being a spectator..it's just as exciting and amazing to me. So far with Amy and Trenton, I didn't care I wasn't down there tacking up with the rest of the girls. I was more excited about gathering gift packages, meeting Amy and Trenton and getting a hug! 
So, perhaps my role in rodeo, isn't going to be Rookie of the Year, or seeing my name in the standings or making it to Finals...but perhaps my role and dreams are changing a bit. To continue to be able to take families with a child fighting or who have conquered cancer to rodeos through an organization I started because of the heartache I went through with my step father and father. To give these families night out that they will always remember, where they can leave cancer at the door and forget about it for a couple hours. To bring people together in the horse/rodeo world for that one little child for that particular night, reaching out and letting them know "we care". Hell, my worries now days, aren't anything compared to these families and what they have gone through. I know I have the support of my family and friends and of course of TEAM DO3 behind me always. So whether I smoke run, (pun intended-I hope Smoke can smoke a run!), or not, I should not be concerned with that-just that hopefully, I can put a smile on the face of a little girl, who has gone through alot in her 7 years on earth.
So Gabby-I WILL enter the rodeo on Smoke! But, I do so for you-as otherwise, I'd be to embarrassed to do so! But I'll take a big gulp as I enter that pen that night... and do it so I can see that smile of yours after. As I'm sure, never being to a rodeo, a run will be a run..whether slow or fast, perfect or a train wreck. My objective is just going to be to give you the most memorable night I can possibly give to you with the help of a lot of friends, family and people in the rodeo community!
(To all my rodeo friends, who may be there that night...don't watch! ;)
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