On this day a year ago....

On this day a year ago, I lost my father.~~He Is Not Gone~Ease your grief, he is not gone,~For in your heart he lingers on~His smile, his laugh, his special way~Will comfort you from day to day~You'll feel his presence in the breeze~That dances gently through the trees~And it's his face that you shall see~When you're in need of company~At any time you can recall~The love you shared~you saved it all~And in time, more than anything~You'll find peace in remembering......Miss you dad !

More pics of Trenton...

Trenton Noll's Story

In January 2008, just before Trenton’s 2nd birthday, we noticed a flicker in his eye. Our family doctor suggested we see an ophthalmologist, who would have known how our world was about to change. The ophthalmologist suggested an MRI to confirm Trenton’s eye flickering was nothing more than a common childhood problem. On May 31, 2008 a neurosurgeon would break our hearts and tear our world into two telling us what the MRI images found. Trenton was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor, a juvenile pilocyctic astrocytoma. The day, the images, the pain will forever be burned into my memory, how can this be, our world was shattered.
Deep breathe! God grant me the courage and strength to pull myself together and be the Mom that my child needs right now! Two days of tears and a pity party for me, and that was it, off I went on a mission to save my son. 44 months have passed since that day, 39 months of chemotherapy, 5 surgeries that would take us to hell and back, more hospital stays and days in clinic than I care to recount, 4 birthdays, and lots of tears and laughter here I am. I am one of the lucky ones; I am a mother whose child is still here to battle.

Today we still fight the good fight and Trenton is still on treatment at this time. As we are about to gather for Trenton's Sixth Birthday this week I am overwhelmed with joy for having the time I have had with this wonderful child. As I look back and realize that Trenton has spent the last four years fighting for each and every day he is given, I remember to be thankful for that time. Four years is a long time to fight, but to be given the opportunity to do so is a blessing that often is overlooked. I remember how two years ago I celebrated Trenton's 4th birthday in a clinic room while he received his chemo still unable to walk and barely talk from a surgical procedure. Many days have passed since then, some days that I thought we would never make it through, yet here we are about to celebrate his 6th birthday. This time it will be making pizzas and decorating cupcakes for his friends to come and enjoy with us, a long way we have come. I am tearful just thinking how much he has accomplished in the last two years and overall in this child's six short years here. It is inspiring to see how he keeps fighting everyday and how thankful he is for so many little things that most of us take for granted. As I have seen many children pass from this horrible disease over the last four years it reminds me of how truly precious each day is. Trenton seems to be wise beyond his years in recognizing that. He chooses to take the time each day to make others smile and enjoy all that the day gives him, a reminder we all need from time to time.

Trenton will continue on this experimental drug that was given to him in October as a last effort for "compassionate reasons". Three months ago I prayed for him to see Christmas, little did I think he would see his 6th birthday. But here we are, and with his strength and determination there may be no end to all the days we will see with this wonderful little boy. This is one of those stories that gives hope to so many that there may be that one drug that works. The MRI in January showed he is stable and the drug is working. It truly is a reminder that there is always Hope, something we all need from time, children especially; there are always Smiles, you just need to find them; and there will always be Love, you just need to give it.

New Sponsor for the Kids

Thanks Cowgirl Swank, for donating a cap for Amy!

http://www.cowgirlswank.com/

Trenton Noll

Here is a little bit about Trenton, from his mother Mena:

My name is Mena Noll and I am both the Outreach Person for Children's Cancer Recovery and also the mother of a child with cancer. I want to personally say thank you for reaching out to us. Reading your email was inspiring to see what you have done and how you want to give back touches my heart. My story of how I came to Children's is somewhat similar. My son Trenton was diagnosed almost four years ago with a brain tumor at the age of two. Since then he has struggled with this continuous battle of constant treatment and surgeries. Complications from this process has caused this child to overcome more than you can imagine. A surgery in 2009 left him unable to talk, walk, and almost lost all memory, but he came back from it all with his amazing strength and courage, he is my inspiration! Last year he briefly went into remission which is how I came to Children's Cancer Recovery. They were the only organization that helped us when we were going through our battle. The financial difficulties that come with having a child with cancer can be overwhelming. It was their Helping Hands Program that gave to us when no other organization would. For three years they continued their support and helped to enable me to stay where I was needed most, by Trenton's side. Last January when Trenton went into remission I like you wanted to "pay it forward" so when they asked me to come on board with the organization it was the perfect opportunity.

Since then Trenton has resumed treatment and we are currently on a clinical trial for a last attempt to save his life. We realize the blessings we have had with this child and put our faith in God to choose Trenton's path. I have continued on working with Children's because I know how much work is needed done to create more awareness and raise more funds for childhood cancer. One of the events I created was the Ride for Hope, an event for trail riders to gather for a fun family camping weekend. When I got this email I couldn't have been more excited to hear what you are doing and would love to attend. There are some pictures of Trenton on The Ride for Hope site at http://www.rideforhope.embarqspace.com/ if you want to see him and my son Bryce.

BullRide Mania, Harrisburg PA

It's time to find my next family to give them a great night at the rodeo! If you know a family who has a child that has fought or fighting cancer or heart disease in the Harrisburg area, please let me know. I am planning on taking a family to the Bullride Mania on April 28 at the Harrisburg Farm Show Arena! The search is on! Please email me at Jackie@dreamingofthree.com with his/her story.

Horse and Rider Magazine

After many months (since September) of keeping a lid on things for a "horse" type magazine, (other than The Barrel Racing Blog intereview, which was a friend's blog regarding the local area barrel racers), nothing has seemed to have developed as far as an article.  With much disappointment, I have decided to move on, as I must keep moving forward instead of staying idle.  As, the longer I wait, the later the issues in which stories can be printed~therefore, not helping me with the families I take to the rodeos earlier in the season. 

Horse & Rider magazine will be putting a small blurb with a photo in their very popular "up-front" "Talk" section of their magazine in their April, 2012 issue.  I am excited to get SOME exposure, as the more exposure I receive, the more companies may get involved to help me moreso with the children and families I take to the rodeos.   That is my main concern as far as getting some coverage, is helping me make their night at the rodeo bigger and better for those families throughout the year. 

I will continue to move forward with all of my plans for 2012, and to do the best I can for everybody in all areas.

Passing of Legendary Coach Joe Paterno

Through my 20 years of working for Franco, Joe was of course part of that world.  I've spoken to him several times on the phone, but never really knew the man personally.  What I do know, is that my boss, somebody who is basically like part of my own family, is grieving terribly for the loss of his friend and mentor. 

Joe's initials were placed on one of my crosses when the news broke that he had cancer.  He is at the bottom center. 

I know there isn't much I can do to stop the hurt and pain of his family or for Franco at this time.  However,  this is exactly why I decided to "Race for a Cause" in 2012.  As I have always felt helpless when a friend or my own loved one passed on from cancer or heart disease.  With carrying the initials of those who have passed on, or who are still fighting, I am trying to raise money in their honor to help find a cure for these horrible diseases that take so many of our family and friends. 

I hope to have the same type of winning season in 2012 with my barrel racing and rodeo, just as Joe and Penn State had for so many years in college football.  He will forever be remembered as one of the greatest college football coaches of all time!  RIP Joe!  You will never be forgotten!

Two new saddle crosses from Cowgirlz Flair!

Thank you CowgirlZ Flair for this set of beautiful saddle crosses WITH custom conchos with my logo! How very cool. I'll be working on getting the rest of the initials I have on them here in the next few days. Also, I'll be mailing Amy her pendant as well soon (waiting for a pair of boots to come in). Thank you thank you!

A Video for Amy

After receiving so many wonderful pictures of Amy and her family, I decided to make a video for her.  Her mother, Andrea, told me how much she enjoyed the first one from the rodeo, and that her and Ben watched it numorous times.  So this one is especially for her!  I surely hope she enjoys it.  Just something else I can do for the families.    http://vimeo.com/35385421  Love ya Amy!

Hat Arrived Today!

My new hat arrived today, thanks to Brad at Star of the West Hat Company!  Thank you Brad for such an awesome hat!  I am so honored to be wearing a piece of your work! 

New Sponsor

Thank you to my friend Beth, and her family for supporting me!  I am glad to have you along for this ride!

Video from Rodeo, January 12

I tried to capture everything that we all shared that night!  Hope you enjoy!
http://vimeo.com/35327234

More photos of Amy with some of the rodeo queens...

 

Well, I'm not queen, but much better photo with a real camera instead of the cell phones!   :)

National Western Stock Show & Rodeo & AMY!

 

What a touching experience the rodeo in Denver turned out to be! Amy and her family were all very nice and it felt so good to give all of them a big hug! 

We got to the rodeo, and her family was already there.  So, I took down their goody bags and said hello.  Immediately, Amy was looking through her bag, and so was Ben, excited to see what was inside.  What was so adorable, was that she saw my shirt, found the shirt I gave her, and wasted no time putting it on.  Then, somehow, managed to wiggle out of the shirt she had on previously, down her legs and off her feet!  I have no clue how kids manage to do so! 

I teared up of course when her mother, Andrea, asked about my step father and dad.  My step father's ashes are actually in Colorado, as he was a avid hunter and Colorado mountains is where he wanted to rest.  I think when we return in July to Denver, we will try to find where he lays and the cross that was made for him and placed on the mountain.

There were several of the rodeo queens that went over to Amy and her family to take photos, and give autographs.  Then, also, some saddle bronc riders came to say hello as well.  Her mother said she had never met so many of the contestants and rodeo people before.  She also mentioned that all the attention was great for Amy, as after her "negative" status for cancer, the attention slowly started to subside, as people tend to go back to their busy lives and daily routines where Amy's household wasn't filled with constant visitors. 

Overall, we got a lot of great photos (some I am still waiting for ), great video (which I will put together next week), and great memories.  Memories that I will never forget.  I hope Amy and her family will never forget that night either.

Order your shirt today to help me continue to make more memories for more families.

Several more items made it to me just in time!

I received the my sample shirts from DogPound Printing http://www.dogpoundprinting.com/   just in time, therefore able to wear them to the rodeo Thursday night!  (note I will NOT be wearing the skirt to the rodeo!)  Also, this shirt is the crew neck, but with the V neck printing.  As this is the only shirt he had in stock, but he wanted to print it more in the "women's style V".  It will work, regardless, and I am happy to have one of my shirts to wear to the rodeo where I am taking my first "rodeo kid".  I also have shirts for Amy and her twin brother Ben as well!

Also today, I received the cd's from Bradley Black http://www.bradley-black.com/, the horsehair bracelet and keychain by http://www.facebook.com/horsehairbraceletsbycandace?ref=ts, and also got a surprise from my favorite saddle cross maker, Cowgirlz Flair, that she has made a photo pendant for Amy as well and will be sending that to me along with a couple more saddles crosses.  http://www.facebook.com/horsehairbraceletsbycandace?ref=ts#!/pages/CowgirlZ-Flair/202169799849271

So, my suitcase is jammed packed, and hopefully it makes it under the 50# mark! 

I am so excited to give Amy all these wonderful, heartfelt gifts!

Talk to you all next week!  I'm sure I'll have some great stories to tell.

Denver Bound

Well, I am officially packed and ready to go to Denver on Tuesday.  I have Amy's package all together, a package for her twin brother Ben, and even something small for her mom and dad.  Although, I am going to Denver for my job, my mind is mostly on taking Amy's family to the rodeo.  I still have a couple things that need finalized, such as with Coors rodeo barrel man, but I think her family will be treated like royalty regardless.  I really hope it is a night to remember for them all. 

I am also very excited about meeting the executives from Roper.  I think it is cool that such a company showed interest in what I am doing.  Along with Roper, Brad at Star of the West has sent me photos of my hat that is almost complete! 

http://www.facebook.com/pages/A-Prayer-for-Carter/292677617451808?sk=info#!/pages/Star-of-the-West-Hat-Company/138481216212948?sk=info

To know that such a talented and successful hat maker, such as Star of the West, is supporting me, really gives me such pride!  I cannot wait to wear this hat to rodeos and barrel races, and be able to share Star of the West's information.  These are quality hats.  These hats are not based on a "name brand", that when you dig deep into what the hat is made from, you realize that the hat is very cheaply made.  They are custom, and they are quality, and I'm very proud to own one!

Also, Cowgirlz Flair is making me a couple more larger saddle crosses, as the initials keep rolling in.  She does such beautiful work, I'm happy to have all of her crosses on my saddle.  http://www.facebook.com/pages/CowgirlZ-Flair/202169799849271?sk=info

I will not have my computer with me in Denver, therefore, I look forward to returning with some wonderful stories from the rodeo, pictures and videos to share. 

Sometimes in tragedy we find our life's purpose - the eye sheds a tear to find its focus.

Sometimes in tragedy we find our life's purpose - the eye sheds a tear to find its focus. Robert Brault

This quote by Robert Brault a free lance writer, really hit me.  As I truly have been through hell these last few years.  I have lost so many close loved ones, it seems surreal to me at times.  Like-are you serious!!!! 

Most recent, I lost my Uncle Bob on New Year's Day, 2012.  He is my mother's brother.  She had 4 brothers and that side of my family always remained close.  All my cousins grew up going to my grandmother's house on Sunday's, or every Christmas day, or every Easter day.  Playing on the stairwell, as we weren't allowed in the living room with the men watching sporting games, nor in the kitchen as the women cooked, nor up it the bedrooms. So that left the stairwell or outside.  There were plenty of cousins to go around, all in different age ranges, so we always had somebody our own age to play with.  I've lost three Uncles now on my mother's side, and my mother is now left with her youngest brother-my Uncle Tom. 

Since 2009, it just doesn't seem to stop.  I know it's all a part of life, losing loved ones, but at times, I just feel like it would be nice to have a break from the constant heart break-the seemingly pro status I have attained at attending funerals of loved ones.

However, had I not gone through all that I have these last few years, I would not have decided to "Race for a Cause".  I would not have found my "aggressiveness" in order to get my mare to her top potential.  As racing for myself, I just didn't have enough.  Riding for others, has given me a shot in the ass as they say, and I've been riding harder, getting us into that first divison--Something I've dreamt about for a long long time.  (about 30 years to be exact).  So, when I decided to help others, in turn it has helped me with the sport I love so much and have worked so hard at all these years to get to the level I have gotten to in 2011. 

Tonight, as I left the funeral home, I sorta felt like I could just stay "down" in the dirt for a while.  As it seems that is where I keep getting knocked back into..so perhaps I stay, instead of brushing off, and picking myself back up.  However, a call from a friend, Chelsea, and her news of all that is coming about for Amy, the little girl I'm taking to the rodeo in a week,-- made me regain focus quickly.  I am getting back UP, I'm brushing myself back OFF, and I will be more aggressive than ever in doing all that I had planned for 2012-my riding, my raising funds for the charities, my attempt to meet families who are fighting that same fight that my own family members have fought and reaching out to them.  In fact, they are reaching out to me and probably don't even know it.  It's amazing how your own kids can keep you moving forward with alot of things in life when you feel like quiting. I have kids that I've never even met yet, doing the same thing! 

I'm not sure if all this is my "life's purpose", but certainly shedding the tears these last few years has made me regain focus, and realize what truly is important in life. 

Shirt Sales To Help Me Take More Children To More Rodeos

All proceeds from these shirts will go towards taking more children fighting cancer and his/her family to more rodeos and giving them more. We do not remember days; we remember moments-I want to give these families more moments. I will be submitting them for print February 1, so pre-sale will be for month of January, then cost per shirt will be $30.

2012 Has Not Started Off "Happy"

Last night, as I waited for that ball to drop, I hoped that 2012 would be a new start, to a new year to moving forward past all the heartache the last few years has dealt my family. 

I am very sad to say, that it has not started out happy.  My Uncle Bob passed away suddenly this morning, January 1 of a aortic rupture.  Yet again heart disease, has taken another member of my family. My mother has now lost another brother, she had 4, and she is only left with one now.  She has certainly been tested, we all have been tested. 

This heartbreak will just make me pick myself up, dust off the dirt, saddle up and ride harder.  2012, you have come in like a lion for my family, I will be the lion fighter and won't let this horrible start slow me down, it only has given me more fuel!!!

We will miss you Uncle Bob, and love you very much!