What's in a Name....

Over the past several months, with trying to spread the word about Team DO3, Dreaming of Three, I have often doubted my selection of a name for all of "this".  There is no "cowgirl", or "cowboy" or any words that relate to horses or riding in Dreaming of Three. 

When I first started this "journey", it was I alone that wanted to do something to grieve.  I had just gone through hell, watching my step father, whom raised me battle cancer, and lose.  I had to watch my children see their "pap", deteriorate before their eyes.   All of us knew the outcome.  Eighteen to twelve months is what he was given.  However, we tried to carry on life as it was normal.  We went to look at new homes with my mother and step father, John, closer to where my husband and I lived.  Knowing full well, we were just going through the motions to make John feel like things were "normal".  They weren't.  They were very very wrong. 

John & my Mother

 

He passed away on October 1, 2010, the first day of arhery, which was appropriate, as for him, he lived for first day of hunting season.  So have no doubt in my mind he was rushing to get the best tree stand in heaven! 

My family and I had to move on, somehow.  No doubt it was painful, and hard, and an aweful thing especially for my children to go through with somebody they loved so dearly.  We picked ourselves up slowly and tried to get back to our lives.

Three months later, on January 30, I recieved a call at my office, from my step mother telling me my father had passed away from a major heart attack.  I felt as though I had been picked up and thrown face down in the dirt.  We were just coming out of the fog from the pain of John, to have another death so close together of two people that were very important and loved very much. 

My father had chronic heart problems, so it wasn't such a surprise.  He had at least 4 other heart attacks, but it didn't make it any easier to hear those words. 

My Dad and his wife, Barb

So, once more we had to continue on with our lives from all this heart break.  When Spring of 2011 came, it took me a little while to get the energy, desire to start riding and competing again.  Eventually, I did however.  Riding was something that remained the same, just me and my horse, Sis.  Competing, was the same, just me and Sis and the clock.  So, I started hitting barrel races more weekends, and Sis and I started hitting our groove once more.  We started hitting that first division more often. 

However, even though my dreams were finally coming true with having a horse that could compete at the top, I would hear more loved ones struck with cancer or heart disease, hear more friends tell of their own loved ones struck with these diseases, and my heart remained heavy.  I continued to feel just as helpless as I did while watching John die.  I continued to feel helpless as when I heard my Dad had passed. 

I did NOT like that feeling of helplessness at all.  So, while awaiting to go into the arena one day, down because of yet ANOTHER person in my life having to fight through, I questioned "what could I do to not feel so helpless".  I slightly got upset with myself at that time, thinking "What is wrong with you!  You are sitting on a first division horse!  It's what you dreamt about all these years!  Since you were 12!  Yet you are moping" .  Then, I realized that winning really wasn't all that important anymore.  There are so many more important things in life.  So, my wheels kept turning, as "what I could do to not feel helpless".  (as I waited to be called into arena.  I typically am on Sis waaay too early, and warmed up waaay too early..so I am constantly sitting and waiting!).  As, I had all these thoughts, Sis reached around and nudged my foot.  This is when it hit me, Sis and I were in our groove, winning money every weekend! I could take this success and turn it into something to "give back", to "pay it forward"!  I declared I would donate mine and Sis' winnings in 2012 to American Cancer, American Heart and animal rescues close to my heart. 

So, as friends and family knew I was doing so, I thought I would create a Facebook page, a web page where they could all follow my season.  I started to write all those loved one's initials on my saddle crosses that had fought, fighting or lost fight to cancer or heart disease and even told friends they could add their own as well.  So I thought, for those people, they too might enjoy following where I'd compete, and stories along the way. 

I had always dreamt of having that one great horse!  Turning three perfect, quick barrels.  I'd doodle on paper in school, the barrel pattern...  so initially, I named this "journey", "Dreaming of Three", as I wanted to continue to succeed in order to donate the most money I could to Cancer, Heart and Animal Rescue~the THREE Charities. 

I drew my logo, with the wings behind me, as my step father and father watching over me as I did my best to succeed and donate as much as possible.  It was just something fun to do, so I had something to put on my Facebook page profile picture, and my website. 

I never intended to "market" anything.  It was all for personal use.  From the name, from the logo, to the website.  Never in a million years would I have thought it would have taken the turns it did to get us to over 70 members on TEAM DO3, to wanting to spread the word and get more Team members, more sponsors, etc, in order to raise more for the charities and causes.

So I didn't think about people finding me by a cool "horsey, cowgirl, cowboy" name for the organization.  I find myself at times thinking, "man, why didn't I think of a cooler name!  Nobody will find me when they "search"!  Then, other days, when I have a shirt or jacket on, and somebody asks me what "Team DO3" is all about, I think, perhaps it's not so bad, as it is a conversation starter.  If people saw "Team Cowgirl", they wouldn't ask many questions.  They would assume what it is all about. 
Dreaming of Three, truly came from my heart, and was not to sell a thing, not to gain "likes" on Facebook, or to be the most popular search on google.  It was to honor my step father, my father, my uncles, and all those that have passed in my own life from these diseases.

Now, during the winter months while I'm not keeping Sis in shape or headed down the road to a barrel race, I sit here Saturday and Sunday mornings surfing the internet for beautiful photos to match up to heart felt sayings or poems, or quotes, so that I can post them, and people will share them and perhaps ask themselves that question as well, "What is Dreaming of Three?", and stop over to see what a wonderful group of cowboys and cowgirls, equestrians that make up TEAM DO3. 

 

 It may not be the best "marketing" tool, but for now, it's free to do so, and the best I have to spread the word.  I've been in several magazines, trying to get it out there as well.  Seven months ago, when Team DO3 was started, I would have never thought I would have been filing Incorporation papers, or 501c papers, as it was just myself, grieving in my own way.  Now, I am driven by wanting more Team members, so that our tally rises and perhaps TEAM DO3 will be a known name in every equine industry!  Why am I putting so much effort into it all? 

 

To conquer the feeling of helplessness.

To grieve.

To give others an avenue through their passion of horses and rodeo to conquer helplessness and to grieve.

 

So, the name of what will soon be a registered Non-Profit Organization, Dreaming of Three, may not sound like a organization regarding horses, cowboys, cowgirls, or rodeo, but when you look deeper to find that it was all built on true heart break, true friendship and true determination, instead of marketing a product, or competing with others, you will love the name as much as I do, as it has true meaning.